I remember one time at a birthday party, Mark Dotson asked me in the middle of a meltdown if Brad had Birthday Burnout. It was so funny and it stuck. My reply was, “Yes, and its time for some Birthday Benadryl.” (just kidding, i dont medicate my children to sleep-usually lol.) Anyways, now I am the one with the burnout. I updated pics on my Flickr account. I mostly took pics with my 35mm so thats film, but thankfully Ernies Aunt Pauline took tons of pics. (although I must say, I dont like candid shot taking cameras wandering around, because I have no time to suck in my double chin(s) LOL.)
I am getting a LOT out of this book, Experiencing the Depths of Christ. I am digesting each page slowly, even re-reading what is profound to me so it becomes who I am. I feel like the Lord lead it to me just when I needed it. He does that with reading material for Ernie and I it seems like. Usually Ernie goes crazy on Amazon or Ebay buying books and leaves them conviently (how do you spell that?) on the nightstand or by MY computer. Maybe its not so much the Lord but a discerning husband. Either way, Im covered! lol They both know my needs.
So this paragraph stuck out to me and I thought well, I will share it. First of all, I have felt like there is a lot of information, a lot of studies, a lot of encouragement offered by different means. But I am not digesting it. Not letting it become WHO I am. Its like, I can tell almost anyone what they need to do to be encouraged, but Im not doing it myself. Or I know all the secrets to a happy, healthy life, but I dont apply them myself.
This borders the lines of being a hypocrite.
But mostly its not fulfilling.
Thats why maybe this book, and others are speaking to me in a different way. Its not hugely philosophical, it doesnt use big words, its simple to understand. But so is the gospel. I complicate everything by over thinking. Sometimes maybe I feel like I have to, because after all, Im just a stay at home mom. Im not that smart. (I’m being dramatic but these are the thoughts that can creep in and create over-compensation in other areas. = insecurities.) Im going on and on and on. Sorry. Heres the paragraph from the book…
“Once you are there.. (before the Lord in prayer) if He choses to pour out some great blessing, receive it. But if, instead, your mind wanders, receive that. Or if you have a difficult time in prayer, receive that. Joyfully accept whatever He desires to give. Believe that whatever happens is what HE wants to give you.
When you have come to the Lord this way, you will find that your spirit is at peace no matter what your condition. When you have learned to come to the Lord with this attitude, you will not be upset if the Lord withdraws Himself from you. The times of spiritual dryness will be the same to you as the time of spiritual abundance. You will treat them both the same. Why? Because you have learned to love God just because you love Him. Not because of the gifts, nor even for His precious presence.”
This stirs me-because its a key unlocking a door to get me closer to my Lord. Help us, Lord.
Help us to remain Faithful.
Flowers Family 
Sounds like more than good reading:) I love it when God talks to me through a book (or any way I suppose;)
I guess I would need to read that passage in context, because whenever I can’t touch heaven, I feel it is because I have not disciplined myself to pray that day; or because I allowed my mind to think on things other than those we’re told to think on…you know what I mean? Maybe I need to read that book so I can be more content with what God is doing in my life. I would like my spirit to be at peace no matter what… I always just feel like I am not getting close enough to Him.
Sorry… didn’t mean for this to sound like a downer comment, this really struck something in me that I have been dealing with and wonder if you have run into something that may have addressed what I am experiencing. Thanks for the post… I appreciate your blogs always admonishing me to go deeper in my walk with the Lord.
Gina, (Grab a chair, long comment ahead! lol) I totally know what you mean. I think especially as young mothers we are constantly carrying the burden of rearing our children, getting things done, at least for me, its hard to quiet my mind and find time for Him. When the kids are napping, I could be praying but I catch up on laundry, etc. So believe me, I empathize. (again, spell? my brain isnt spelling correctly today..)
This book isnt saying, if you press in and feel nothing, just accept it and be happy. Going la la la about your day. Chapters 1-3 give examples of how to press into the presence of God. Quieting your easily distractable mind,etc.. She gives some really good techniques on HOW to do it. We always hear DO IT. But so often we dont hear Ok, great. now HOW??
So shes more talking like if you have REALLY pressed in regularly and feel an absence. Not if you have completely skipped prayer and feel an absence. Im being dealt with on both issues. Daily pressing in and my discipline in general, not just in prayer.
Theres also another book im reading by audio book caled Celebration of Discipline by Richard Foster. In it he says to be careful being so disciplined in your prayer life (paraphrasing) because then if you happen into the presence of God you can fall into the thinking that its something YOU did to get you there. Discipline is good and we need it, but there is a key i am missing to that as well. A key I think this other book may have. We can get so disciplined that we fall into being just religious. Do you know what I mean? There is a balance that I am seeking. Its a beautiful thing being content. Because how do I explain the farness of God when I havent changed anything? THere is a measure of Him drawing back, so we prove our faithfulness to Him without getting anything in return. Otherwise it just turns into well, if im a good girl and do this and that then I get this from God and that. (dramatized for effect.) Its not give and take with the Lord, and Im learning this slowly over time. Learning discipline is a wonderful thing. I need more of it! I get lax in my life in all areas. I probably didnt explain myself well enough. I wasnt trying to say we do nothing. Its so hard to explain our feelings sometimes!
This comment is a blog all on its own, i just didnt want anyone to get the wrong idea and I was authorizing any sort of laziness in prayer here.
I enjoyed this blog, and the comments. These are things that are real to all believers at one time or another…I would imagine.
S – thanks for explaining it a bit more… that makes more sense that she would describe how to quiet yourself down with time with the Lord. I definitely need some help in the focusing department.
Also I understand that there is a fine line between religious and spiritually connected. It’s like, we as humans have to have the habit of prayer, Bible reading, good works, but also have to keep our motives in check and our hearts always set on Him – and leaving the door open for Him to work through us, instead of us thinking we’re doing Him a favor. I think this is where most “religious” groups have missed it. I am thankful that we’re a part of a people who are still trying to be connected to the vine, and not just trying to look like one.
Thanks again for the post:)
Two questions…
1) how do I see the pictures you uploaded?
2) how do you get a link to “Home” on your page links?
I used to have a xanga account so I’m new to wordpress and haven’t figured out all the in’s and out’s yet.
Thanks for another great post and helping me out with these questions.
-Tina
Tina- Scroll down on my home page and see my FLICKR account, its little boxes at the bottom right. Also, I go to http://www.wordpress.com and they have a FAQ page, it helps SO much. It automatically puts a linjk to home on your page once you leave the HOME page. If that makes sense. I hope!
Gina- Good line! “I am thankful that we’re a part of a people who are still trying to be connected to the vine, and not just trying to look like one.” come on! I know it took a LOT of sentances to try to explain my post, im sorry. I just wanted you to know what I was talking about! I dont want to look crazier than I am. lol I think when we struggle with something we are ALL struggling (or have struggled with it. Makes us not feel alone.) Im glad I have a place like this to put all my confusing thoughts. -S
No apologies necessary:) It’s your blog… and I am glad I get to talk with you on it;)
I’m just going to have to order that book now:)
good thoughts. In dry times in our walk it is so easy to say “what am I doing wrong?” … there is no doubt that we need to allways be looking at our walk and guarding against complacency. But I think in the book Experiencing the Depths of Christ she is not dealing with someone who is backsliding but someone who is in the wilderness. Do we quote scripture and stick with the prayer, fellowship, attendance in church, exortation, study, submission to our brother like we do when we are in spiritual abundance? Lets look at that paragraph again:
“Once you are there.. (before the Lord in prayer) if He choses to pour out some great blessing, receive it. But if, instead, your mind wanders, receive that. Or if you have a difficult time in prayer, receive that. Joyfully accept whatever He desires to give. Believe that whatever happens is what HE wants to give you”
If your mind wamnders learn from it and get it back into his will. If it is difficult in prayer recieve it learn from it and get back in him. Whateer the Lord desires to put you thru he wants you to learn from it. It just takes some people longer to learn (like me). One cant take this paragraph and just say well the Lord knows my mind wanders in prayer so that is that. We need to learn and reflect inward when this happens. He wants us to learn and to grow. To become mature to bear fruit. It is a process and not a event…
Hello, it’s the backsliding blogger here. 🙂 I too enjoyed this discussion. I totally know where you’re coming from Sarah when you talk about being a “good” girl, so where’s my reward? The Lord has dealt with me about that so much this past year, He wants relationship, and how else than to be in His presence. But being in His presence isn’t always going to be what we might expect. Probably I need to reword that and say RARELY what we expect. Anyways, just my two cents.
Janelle,
I too have enjoyed being a part of this discussion. Its great! Everyone has such good things to add. Thats what I got out of the paragraph from the book. Is that we accept however the Lord chooses to come to us as well. We can expect to come to Him in a certain way, and for Him to come to us in a certain way. Which in time can lead to complacency. It boring! Well, doesnt seem like thats how He does it. Since He is always new and exciting. The main point staying thankful and faithful to Him no matter how we “feel”.
Backslidden blogger…welcome back;) hahah
I like how Ernie put in that we learn from the experience of whatever happens. That made sense to me. It makes more sense to be able to be content with everything, because each situation has to come to pass for us to learn and grow and develop into a closer relationship with Him.
And Sarah, God isn’t boring! I will have to remember that the next time I feel like God has to be in a certain place. Funny, I always heard that; God’s not going to stay where you “left” Him; but it just now really made sense. We have to continually be seeking Him to see where He is at in our walks.
I am lovin this blog:)