how i feel today.

I saw this just now after looking up some missionary blogs. Bro Clark is right, it doesnt seem like there many (any, how we believe) to Spain, at least ones that are blogging. I cant deny the feelings I had as we heard him talk last night. I told Ernie at certain parts I felt like I knew a little of what  Jeremiah may have felt when he spoke these words.

Jer 20:9  If I say, “I will not mention him, or speak any more in his name,” there is in my heart as it were a burning fire shut up in my bones, and I am weary with holding it in, and I cannot.

For the last few years, I feel like the Lord has been preparing us,  He has been stripping away things that shouldn’t matter. Getting me down to the essentials. I heard Zac Poonen on an mp3 AND Jackie Pullinger say on her ‘Law of Love’ documentary that you shouldnt want to be sent anywhere else if you arent doing all you can where you are. So, home has become my focus. Im good with that. Then Bro Clark comes to visit. (lol)

I love reading about missionaries. I love, (if there was a stronger word, I would use it) reading about how they depended on the Lord, how simple their lives seemed to be and then at the same time how exciting it was as the Lord opened doors for them along the way. But my thoughts usually end with.. ‘and im stuck here in Cross Plains, Lord.’ Sounds so silly to write that thought out.

But then Im reminded of something we heard once on a random tape. ‘The Lord isnt looking for talent, He is looking for availability.’ Being available to Him is better than being the ‘best’ at something. Because He can make the best of something out of nothing if He wants to. But He cant do this if that nothing isnt available to Him. Help us, Lord. To be available to you, to hear you when you call, to not draw nigh unto this world, to be set apart only to be used for your service. Help us to wait on you and walk in the spirit no matter where we are used.

Isa 40:31  But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.

Gal 5:25  If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.

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4 Responses to how i feel today.

  1. Travis says:

    So I’ve been called out of school. I’m not going back. I’ve known I was going to be doing something like this eventually, but I thought it would be after I graduated. Apparently he needs me to be available now…

    I was listening to one of Bro. Andrew’s sermons on that link you left on my blog. He talked about pretty much everything your blog was about. He said something that really struck me. He was talking about not feeling good enough for what the Lord has called you to. He said instead of being paralyzed by fear, ” see the potential that God sees in you.” I’ll pray for you and Ernie if you pray for me 🙂 I’m off to go apply for my passport.

  2. Sarah says:

    Travis, I have already been praying. The Lord knows. We are getting ours soon too, even if there is never a stamp in it, it will be available. 🙂 I felt an urgency in Bro Clark’s message though. It was different. There was a fire in my bones that felt like it could consume me at any moment. I know what you are feeling and the journey is just beginning.

  3. This is so moving and precious, Bro. Clark is such a very special man, and I’m so glad he has a vision and a love for God’s work, and for it to be shared, I especially admire him for his out reach to the young people, saved and unsaved, when we visted him in Germany, he shared this passion with us, and I was able to witness this, and can you believe this man is almost 70??? Oh Lord, help us to step up to the plate, and take hold of this, we may not be “qualified”, but help us to be “available”. (Sarah, that is one of my favorite quotes 🙂

    “Go ye into ALL the world, and preach the gospel to EVERY creature..” Mark 16:15, and vs. 17 (I just love this)..”and they shall speak with new tongues..”(that precious gift of the Holy Ghost) God is at work, again my favorite word, REVIVE us Lord, get your workmen and women ready, passports ready, hearts stirred, to go into your fields, to every creature, to all of this world….

    May we take heed to Jesus’ commission,

  4. Gina says:

    We were watching the service yesterday online. Wish we had been there. Who knows what God has in store for you and your family. I always liked it when Bro Adams would say, “the best ability is availability”… God doesn’t called the qualified, but He qualifies the called:) Lots of love to you guys

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