Yesterday’s services were so good. During the day singing, “Im amazed” I just kept thinking of my life changing experience with God. The beginning of my testimony. I saw myself over and over walking down the aisle down front. I remember the print of my dress that day. I remember feeling so small. I remember the overwhelming feeling, now I can think of it as ‘out of their bellies shall flow living waters.’ I remember feeling like it was 5 minutes and 5 years at the same time. I remember crying the most cleansing cry in my life, like the tears held bitterness. They held my past. And I was crying them out of my life. Nothing mattered anymore and I felt brand spanking new. I felt victory.
Fast forward a few years. In Matthew it gives the parable of the sower. How some seeds fell on the thorns and as it grew, the thorns choked them. Not so long after I realized the cares of this life, worry and fear, were upon me and were just choking me to death. This world can have that effect on you if you arent looking at things the right way. It all ends the same way. No fruit. You cant bear fruit if you are being choked to death.
Rees is afraid of dogs. I mean absolutely terrified. He shakes in his boots when they come around anywhere near the house. Brad pets them and could roll around in the dirt with them laughing the whole time. Funny how one has fear and one doesnt. Anyways, Rees was running and playing outside carefree and sweet. Then I saw this dog out of the corner of my eye, Ernie was talking to Bro Curt and I said, ‘watch out, when Rees sees this he is going to flip.’ He did. But the look on his face just made me want to cry. Instant terror in the face of my son. He started to scream, cry and shake uncontrollably. Us 3 adults were all calm and said, ‘Rees its okay. We wont let anything hurt you.’ Bro Curt then said, ‘Imagine how the Lord feels when we are so overcome with fear and He is right there and wont let anything happen to us.”
I have heard people say you have like 10 defining moments in your life. Im thinking for me, this could very well be one. Being the parent of this little scared boy I know I would NEVER let anything happen to him. I would die protecting him. I got to see my problems, fears and worries from my Father’s eyes. After the initial terror of the dog, it was just hilarious to me. He was so afraid and wouldnt stop freaking out! Ernie was holding him even then and he was like climbing up Ernie. I said, ‘Rees! Daddy has you, silly boy!’ I wonder how ridiculous my problems sometimes seem to my God. He is able to hold the universe in the palm of His hand. And i worry until i am sick.
Maybe the next time we are overwhelmed with something- First remember what He has done for us. Remembering the day I was filled with His spirit was a powerful reminder of what He has done for me. Next, to KNOW He is right there! But first we have to believe, I mean believe with every cell in our being that He IS right there. Once thats settled, what can separate us from the love of Christ? What?