I was so blessed by last nights service. Ernie pretty much had to make me go, but I am so glad I got ready. The I-have-a-sick-kid depression was looming over my head and it was getting bad really quick. I cant explain it but its so familiar to me, the feeling I had yesterday. Weird how the human mind is so fragile. At least mine is.. Pray for us today, days 4-7 are the worst, I read and thats where we are now. Brads throat is hurting him pretty bad. Yesterday he was in a lot of pain.
Bro Rudy took me by surprise with his Highway to Heaven talk. It was beautiful. All we have to do is plug into this! Ps 119:33-40 he quoted and it really spoke to me. One commentary says this of verse 39.. I fear-for my instability in thy ways; which in respect to my ownweakness, I have great cause to fear.
All the testimonies last night really spoke to my heart. Aaron, I have a lions spirit too, even if its inside and I mostly keep it to myself. Its there. I recognize it. That spirit isnt going to be on the highway, help us, Lord. Purge it all out. Purging really isnt a fun process to go through. Things come up that you see and I get so bummed. Like, Man I thought I was more along on the highway than this. What am I even doing? I mean, my personality is to get so down on myself that jihad actually sounds good. Well, ok maybe not good, but easy. Thats for sure. That would definitely be an easy way out, then having to strive all my life to become what the Lord wants me to become. Its such a slow process.. And at times I see absolutely no growth at all.
Whenever we talk about war, there is a feeling that rises up inside of me. The feeling I get when I watch the Patriot or some patriotic movie is the same feeling I get sometimes when Bro Steve is preaching. I know, weird. But its a feeling that makes me want to go into battle. Then I go home and lose a little fire inside. I want the Lord to help me press the battle to the gates…
Anyways now I am rambling. I wanted to post the lyrics to the song we sang last night. Its my prayer for today. I struggle every day with fear. But this song soothed my fearful heart last night.
- Be an overcomer, only cowards yield
When the foe they meet on the battlefield;
We are blood-bought princes of the royal host,
And must falter not, nor desert our post.
Never yield a step in the hottest fight,
God will send you help from the realms of light;
In Jehovah’s might put the foe to flight,
And the victor’s crown you shall wear at last.
- Be an overcomer, He who stands with you
Is a mighty One, who is always true;
In the sorest conflict you shall win the day,
Face the legions dark till they flee away.
- Be an overcomer, you are heaven’s heir,
And a crown of life you may ever wear;
So with courage press the battle to the gates,
Till you gain the prize which in heaven waits.
- Be an overcomer, forward boldly go,
You are strong enough if you count it so—
Strong enough to conquer through sustaining grace,
And to overcome every foe you face.