Fear and Loathing in a JC Penneys Portrait Studio

This blog is a tribute to all the moms (and dads..) that take their kids to get holiday pictures-alone. I feel your pain.. Literally..

I took my 2.5 year old and my 6.5 month old to get their holiday pictures done today. The genius that I am. They enticed me with a $7.99 coupon, no sitting fee and I had another $4.00 off coupon. So I can get a trunkload of pics for like $4.00 and some change. Good deal? I sold my soul for $4.00.

We get there and Brads acting a little weird, but its a weird setting, but not to fear. Me the prepared mother that I am, had him bribed. With a burger and riding the horsies if he gives me 10 minutes and 3 smiles- the smile that was rehearsed all the way there. Not the one that looks like popeye that hes been doing now for a few months. A bit scary for the annual christmas card. So-we’re good! Or are we?? It all starts to unravel when I put the matching ties on and we get in there to take the pics-im convinced thats when the body snatchers invaded.

He wont smile, he is doing this weird arm thing, he is pulling away from me, even screamed once. At this point, I make him get down and we take pics of the smiling, happy baby. Brad starts digging thru my purse acting like a wild man, then i tell him to sit, he starts being wild with the props and the ladys things. Then starts to cry, real tears! After calming the faker-that-can-muster-real-tears-while-in-public-to-make-my-mom-look-bad boy down, we try his pics again, and shes telling him to do this thing that I would have a hard time doing myself. I told her,” He is 2, he wont do that.” She replies with, “I used to teach 2 year olds, I know what they are capable of.” Ok..(teach them what??? You mean babysit?) Deep breath. Note to picture lady, not a good thing to say to a mom on the verge of losing it.. Shes talking to him like, you want a treat? only good boys that listen get treats. Here I am being told how to parent by a college student that took a class once on it. So by this time Im almost sweating. So mad at brad i want to beat him. I know she thinks i stink at parenting..  Funny how a trip to the portrait studio can make you question your mere existance.

Have you ever reached the point that you have lost control and the anxiety it causes knowing you cant get it back and you shouldnt have lost it in the first place if you were any kind of authority figure sets in? Ya, i was living that. The thing is that brad is always good, always peaceful and will always listen.  The thought of him changing shakes me up a bit..So the only logical explanation is that my son was posessed for approx 12 minutes today..

We ended up with one good pic. She made brad kiss rees’ head. Only way around the weird smile. When I got in the car, I called Ernie.  I mean, whats next? a 14 year old sneaking out the window?  on and on my mind is racing..I told brad how dissapointed i was in him, and for him to not talk to me. boy was i mad…

I look back and he is sleeping so peacefully. He was just tired.. poor thing.

And poor me. Im going to go finish that Denny Kenaston book now… I only got halfway thru it, thats my excuse.. There has to be a way to get results in your kids without the use of valium! (which by the way, after today, im not 100% convinced he doesn’t use..)

Im thankful for…

The Department of Childrens services not being at the studio. I would have had my kids taken away, at the very least, a mild interrogation.

I added a pic below-an example of what i didnt want-and got in the pictures.. His infamous face that I thought was so cute and funny when it started. Now he knows no other smile.



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